That’s all for now.

I haven’t laced up my skates since the last roller derby bout I reffed since I retired (they were in a bind, so I helped on one bout), which was in late May or early June last year. My legs felt good (both while skating and I had zero soreness the next day), and I only fell once, due to just not skating in a long time.

To digress a bit further, Bea practically grew up in a skating rink. Her folks skated a whole lot (I think that’s how they met), and while her mom no longer skates, her dad certainly does. His daughter from his second marriage, now 4, is a natural. I guess it’s in the blood. Now let’s see if her little half-sister will grow up to be a rollergirl, just like sister.

So, the birthday party was at the skating ring, and it was fun. I’m not even going to touch on the odd cross-section of people who hang out at a skating rink on a Friday night, but will instead address the title of this post. Bea baked her dad a cake, and it was light, fluffy, and delicious. And gay. Very, very gay. Behold:

 
I feel that unicorn candles or something would have been a perfect touch. And while unicorns are pretty cool, I think we can all agree that polycorns are far, far superior.

So there you go. That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever consumed, and it was scrumptious.

I’m not going to bother writing a recap of my drunken escapades – instead I’ll just suggest you talk to Herr Googol™and post up some photos that my Dad took.

 

 

Well, not really. I came back to rollerderby for three (technically four) practices on May, to help out the Big Easy Rollergirls with their bout against Orange County. These days, the zeeba herd is thin. Henry Roll-ins and The Countess are gone, Luna Skategood was out of town, and for that particular weekend, despite borrowing one jammer ref from OC and two pack refs from Mobile, they were still one jammer ref short.

Col. Panic to the rescue.

Overall, it seemed as though I never left, with two exceptions:
1) The noobs. A good number of new skaters have joined since I left in December. They show promise.
2) The callouses, or distinct lack thereof. When you skate counter-clockwise in an oval, 2-3 times a week, for an hour or two each session, you tend to develop very specific callouses, protecting you from the beast/the monster – a common spot for a heinous blister – the ball of your right foot.

The bout was hard, fast-paced, and close. I really wish I had been on the outside on this one. Alas, no. Kerry McClain, superfan, took some great photos, as per usual.

Anyways, since Bea is on the travel team, she spent the weekend in Austin and played them on Sunday. Originally, the both of we (oh, my grandmother would be so proud of me for using that phrase) were to go, and stay with Andre and Leigh. I was very much looking forward to getting out of town (even if for a weekend), watching a derby bout, and getting to meet my nieces (one of which is destined to be ninja).

I’ve been pretty inundated with work and life in general, and was looking forward to a break. Unfortunately, the undertow caught me and dragged me to sea (where the drowning people go).

So, I spent this weekend working, but it was a huge push, and I’m basically at shore. Finally.

I apparently also missed Bea drinking Jameson’s. While 3 shots does not a whiskey drinker make, it does lead one down the path to salvation and righteousness.

At least it would seem I have found one to lend my gear to long enough for him to get the derby fever: a bicycle mechanic named Jon. I’m hoping he will be worthy of, and want the name, Jacques Hughes.

So, until BERG is in another bind, this is Col. Panic, retiring. Again.

Where do I start? Howsabout a rough outline of some major-ish events since my last post (that should be individual posts themselves):

• Reffed the first Jackson MS / Biloxi MS derby bout
• Retired from rollerderby refereedom. Am now known as Don’t Panic or perhaps Mr. sKiddo.
• (Over) Enjoyed two office parties, back-to-back.
• Rode the spillway with Bea. She did the teeter-totter on her bike.
• Went to 5 Christmas Parties ( my family, her family, friends )
• Spent 5 relaxing days in Waynesville, NC with Bea.

And now that I have freed up a substantial amount of time that was previously occupied by derby, I present unto you my 2008 Resolution:

Read 26 books in 2008.

This works out to an average of one book every other week. I’m going to count re-reads in this one, not just new reads. I am also going to count two books I read over vacation towards this list: Joe Hill’s Heart Shaped Box and Richard Bachman (Stephen King)’s Blaze – two shorter-length novels that I quite enjoyed. (Liz, you should at least read Heart Shaped Box). I’ve even bought a much-needed new bookshelf for the occasion. While I attribute the idea to Liz, my motivation may be different. For me, it’s a forced downtime. I do really enjoy reading, and miss sitting down with a good novel. I’m using it to just sit down, relax, and escape (instead of perhaps going to the bar). Little mini vacations.

And a quick sidenote: while I love old New Orleans houses, I loathe their drafts. It’s goddamn cold in here.

2007 was a pretty good year for me (despite the physical injuries), and I greatly look forward to 2008. And I can’t believe that Mardi Gras is a mere month away. This year, the Ramblers roll from my house.

P.S. – We rule the street. The rest of y’all are Monkey Meat.

Busy. And I’m keeping my eyes on other football games this weekend.
Here’s what would really, really help the Saints in getting the NFC wildcard (this weekend):
Saints def. Cardinals
Chargers def. Lions
Giants def. Redskins
Bears def. Vikings (Monday night)

That’s not really so much to ask, is it? The Falcons beating the Bucs wouldn’t hurt either, I reckon.

I’m healing pretty quickly I’d say, but I can tell I still have a while to go. The act of sitting up from a lying down position still hurts (well, more like a bad ache but you get the idea), along with a number of similar actions/motions. But overall, much better.

I am going to attend this Thursday’s derby practice, and skate for a bit – just see how it feels. The smart move would be to not scrimmage, and so I won’t. Assuming that regular skating isn’t too painful, the chances of re-hurting myself greatly increases in a scrimmaging situation. I’m resolved to take it easy and heal all proper-like.

(If the content of this post did not clue you in on what a buttdate, then *FAIL*. A buttdate is a butt-update. Shame on you.)

The bout went of pretty well, some hiccups here and there, but that is to be expected.

Somehow though, the ref squad managed to incur some losses. S’aint N.O. Lady fractured the radial head of her right arm, the Countess injured her right knee and hip in a collision with me, causing me to land on a skate on my tail bone.

Ladies and gentlemen, I strongly recommend against bruising your tail bone. I have come to the conclusion that the tail bone is the collarbone of the lower torso – it is involved in more movements/motions than you realize. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, but the only thing that seems to heal a tail bone is time. Due to my recognized tendency to pick up addictions, I approach pain meds (and pills in general) cautiously. The problem is that the pain is severely affecting my work, and I’m in the middle of a big project I really need to finish.

So, it looks like no skating, riding a bike, running/hashing, etc for a while for me. This is lame.

I did get one gift from my dad that’s pretty cool, and it comes in two parts. Sweet. The first, wrapped part, was a DVD of Jimi Hendrix live at Woodstock. I opened it up, and after thanking my dad, he said that that wasn’t the whole gift.

Many years ago (obviously), he saw Jimi and the boys play. I don’t think it was Woodstock, but who really cares. It’s Jimi, right? Well, he got a drumstick from Mitch Mitchell (Jimi’s drummer) at that show. It’s been floating around the house, and he decided that it would be cool to mount it in a shadow box and give it to me. And I couldn’t agree more; it is really cool. I’ll take a photo of it and post it up when I do finally get it.

The other gift that I really thought was awesome was my lump of coal at the Big Easy Rollergirls’ Christmas Party. In all honesty, I thought it was fucking hilarious. The other refs got a lump too. We got some candy too, but that briquette killed me.

And outside of the stuff I bought for the roommate, I only bought one other gift: a chandelier for the folks/grandma/family house. It was a pretty hefty chunk of change, but it is absolutely beautiful. I’ve never really been able to buy the folks a nice/big gift, and I’m just glad that I could do it. They’re good people. Anyway, here’s a few cell phone photos of it:

That’s right kids, the one and only (and registered) Col. Panic™ will be a referee for the Big Easy Rollergirls this Saturday, Dec. 16th at Mardi Gras World. You can get your tix here or at the door (if it hasn’t sold out).

So come on down and watch Santa’s Sleighers battle the Tannenbombers for global national NOLA Domination. It’s fun. And hey, the afterparty will be at the old point bar, so join us afterwards for a drink.

Also secured my Saints playoff tickets. Rock.