Prosthetically Hip

I was just combing through my spam filter and noticed a certain number of emails, all with a similar theme: my stupid face.

While not particularly effective, it is nonetheless extremely funny.

I read/heard the other day that Eddie Izzard was slated to come to town, and completely forgot about it until I got an email reminder this morning from Liz. So I got four - I’m taking Bea, and my Mom and Dad (for father’s day).

I got my tickets this morning from TicketBastard, and you can too.

Behold: first post row! (see the teeny Xs? Sec B Row A, Seats 5-8)

Hi, my name is Col. Panic (Ret.), and I am a Derby Widow™.

Well, not really. I came back to rollerderby for three (technically four) practices on May, to help out the Big Easy Rollergirls with their bout against Orange County. These days, the zeeba herd is thin. Henry Roll-ins and The Countess are gone, Luna Skategood was out of town, and for that particular weekend, despite borrowing one jammer ref from OC and two pack refs from Mobile, they were still one jammer ref short.

Col. Panic to the rescue.

Overall, it seemed as though I never left, with two exceptions:
1) The noobs. A good number of new skaters have joined since I left in December. They show promise.
2) The callouses, or distinct lack thereof. When you skate counter-clockwise in an oval, 2-3 times a week, for an hour or two each session, you tend to develop very specific callouses, protecting you from the beast/the monster - a common spot for a heinous blister - the ball of your right foot.

The bout was hard, fast-paced, and close. I really wish I had been on the outside on this one. Alas, no. Kerry McClain, superfan, took some great photos, as per usual.

Anyways, since Bea is on the travel team, she spent the weekend in Austin and played them on Sunday. Originally, the both of we (oh, my grandmother would be so proud of me for using that phrase) were to go, and stay with Andre and Leigh. I was very much looking forward to getting out of town (even if for a weekend), watching a derby bout, and getting to meet my nieces (one of which is destined to be ninja).

I’ve been pretty inundated with work and life in general, and was looking forward to a break. Unfortunately, the undertow caught me and dragged me to sea (where the drowning people go).

So, I spent this weekend working, but it was a huge push, and I’m basically at shore. Finally.

I apparently also missed Bea drinking Jameson’s. While 3 shots does not a whiskey drinker make, it does lead one down the path to salvation and righteousness.

At least it would seem I have found one to lend my gear to long enough for him to get the derby fever: a bicycle mechanic named Jon. I’m hoping he will be worthy of, and want the name, Jacques Hughes.

So, until BERG is in another bind, this is Col. Panic, retiring. Again.

I ran across this, and found it interesting: Mux Tapes. Create an account, upload up to 12 or so songs, and share it with people. I took a sampling of what has lately been in heavy rotation, and ordered it alphabetically.

Here’s mine, so go forth and enjoy.

And if you create one, let me know - I want to hear what you’ve been listening to! A nice feature I’ve noticed is that the tapes have RSS feeds - so I’ll automagically know when your tape has been updated.

Dethklok is a noticeable omission from this list due to lack of source material on this computer - a situation that is guaranteed to be remedied in short order.

The current playlist:

• Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - This Guy’s in Love With You
• The Budos Band - King Cobra
• Johnny Cash - God’s Gonna Cut You Down
• Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Messiah Ward
• Deepakalypse - driftin
• dj BC - Bogalusa Shimmy
• Firewater - Hey Clown
• High On Fire - Turk
• Juvenile - Get Ya Hustle On
• Scarlett Johansson - Town with no Cheer
• Ulver - Waltz Of King Karl
• Ween - King Billy

Now that my knee has sufficiently healed, I’ve been very happy to be able to be hashing again, and I’ve been making a point to go on Mondays with NOH3. When this month (and my temporary re-instatement to Rollerderby Refdom) expires, I’ll be hashing with VooDooHHH.

Last night was much fun, and Mikey was able to go, which was nice. While the trail pretty much sucked, there was a definite twist: we swam through Lake Pontchartrain. Twice. It is at this time that I’d like to categorically state that swimming with shoes flat out sucks. What does not suck is not cutting up your feet on the bottom of the lake because of said shoes.

The lake has taken a definite upturn over the past number of years, and I don’t think I’d have done it if I had thought it was inherently unsafe. After all, I know that Sonny fishes (or fished, relatively recently) in the lake, and eats his catch.

Here’s the relevant part of the hash:

That graphic represents a small part of the trail - it ended up being about 3 miles. I would have laid out the whole trail, if I could remember it. It was pretty jacked. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining - at the end of the day, it’s all fun.

The ribbon-cutting ceremony begins in 30 minutes, and I wanted to be there, but work has done.

Anyways, New Orleans has a bike lane! I had the opportunity to use it today - it runs down St. Claude Avenue (on both sides!), and is quite spacious. Hopefully as streets are repaired, more will be added where appropriate.

Thank you, Metro Bicycle Coalition!

 

 

What does .oooo(OOO\L(OOOOO\L(O||\\||\\\\((8ooo((8oooo))boOoooooo)boOooooooooo///•••••___•••CCO(- mean to you?

To me, it doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot, unless you add the appropriate Cascading Style Sheets, then you get this:

View the source, I shit you not. Hell, select all of it and copy/paste it. This was done by Román Cortés, clearly a man with too much time on his hands. Ned Batchelder did a nice job of animating the process.

In other news, Portishead’s Third is growing on me.

Last night marked my grand return to hashing. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do it lately - from the DST switch to Sunday afternoons/evenings, to the busted tailbone, to the busted knee.

It’s been a while.

Anyways, the hash started went a little something like this (errors included):

 
This translated to ~4.2 miles. Considering how long I haven’t run and why, I think I did damn well - I even beat a number of people (it’s not a race, but at least I wasn’t DFL (Dead Fucking Last)). And ohsweetmercifulcrap, my legs aren’t even anywhere near sore. That’s goddamnfuckingamazing.

And the bastards finally did it - they named me. So now, when running, please refer to me as Pastor Bait-Her™.

I don’t remember when this happened, but I still think it’s funny, and wanted to share. Apparently it originally was cycling-related and had a photo, but I’m guessing I didn’t type and/or save that part.

Too bad, so sad.

me: i walked into a fire hydrant yesterday. it hurt. bad.
harley: hahaha
harley: dunbass
harley: er, nevermind
me: way to spell.
me: heh
me: almost had me.
harley: so close!!

School, as it turns out, is not out forever.

This past Wednesday marked my second week back at school. Class is only an hour long, and once a week. Plus, there are a few other friends in the class, which I must admit make it better. I haven’t been to school since 2001 (1/2 semester in English), and before that it was ‘98.

But I’m not doing this for me - I’m doing this for Bosceaux. Bea and I, Kate and Neptune, and Cookie have enrolled our respective pups ( Bosceaux, Drexel, and Chachere (that’s Sash-er-ee for you non-Louisianians ) into obedience school. I’ve noticed an improvement in Bosceaux already, and have adapted how I handle him.

And how can you resist this? I already know that a certain someone is hatching evil plans to dognap him.

 
Bosceaux photos will be posted here as they are taken.